Forgiveness Option

怨恨是一袋死老鼠

在盧梭２２歲那年的訂婚宴上，他的未婚妻愛麗爾卻牽著另一個男人的手，對他說：「對不起，我愛上別人了。」

 

呆若木雞的盧梭，在親戚朋友詫異的目光中無地自容。

 

這是莫大的羞辱！

 

經過良久的思索後，盧梭決定離開這個讓他傷心的家鄉，開始了流浪生涯，從瑞士到德國，再到法國……他發誓將來一定要風風光光地重返故地，找回自己丟失的尊嚴。

 

３０年後，盧梭回來了，雖然兩鬢斑白，但他已經是當時著名的文學家和思想家。

 

有位老朋友問他：「你還記得愛麗爾嗎？」

 

「當然記得，她差一點做了我的新娘。」盧梭微笑著回答，一臉的輕鬆。

 

老朋友：「這些年來，她一直生活在貧困潦倒之中，靠親戚的救濟艱難度日。上帝懲罰了她對你的背叛！」

 

盧梭：「我很難過，上帝不應該懲罰她。我這裡還有一些錢，請你轉交給她，不要告訴她是我給的，以免她認為我是在羞辱她而拒絕接受。」

  

「你真的對她沒有絲毫怨恨嗎？當年，她可是讓你丟盡了臉啊！」

 

盧梭：「如果我提著一袋死老鼠去見你，那一路上聞著臭味的不是你，而是我。怨恨是一袋死老鼠，最好把它丟得遠遠的。如果我怨恨她，那這些年我豈不是一直生活在怨恨之中，得不到快樂？」

 

盧梭從口袋裡拿出一些錢遞給朋友，說：「希望這些錢能幫助她擺脫困境，生活得好一點。」

 

是啊，怨恨是一袋死老鼠！面對怨恨，如果我們能坦然相視，寬容一笑，就會找到快樂的源泉。

 

 

很有現代感的笑話!!
 

 

1. 斑馬深愛著小鹿，表達愛意時卻遭到拒絕。   

    斑馬大吼：為什麼？這一切都是為什麼？

   小鹿膽怯地說：我媽說了，紋身的都是不良少年。

 

2. 熊貓深愛著小象，表達愛意時卻遭到拒絕。

   熊貓大吼：為什麼？這一切都是為什麼？

   小象膽怯地說：我媽說了，戴墨鏡的都是不良少年。

 

3. 小雞深愛著小鴨，表達愛意時卻遭到拒絕。

   小雞大吼：為什麼？這一切都是為什麼？

   小鴨膽怯地說：我媽說了，叫「雞」的都不是好人。

 

4. 蜘蛛深愛著螞蟻，表達愛意時卻遭到拒絕。

   蜘蛛大吼：為什麼？這一切都是為什麼？

 ............................

 螞蟻膽怯地說：我媽說了，成天在網上呆著的都不是好人。

**............................

**在講你啦！*

 

天天開信，天天開心.

My 32 Faces and My Source

Life is full of opportunities to practice the habit of "Seek first to understand, then to be understood." The other day I found myself interrupting someone in mid-sentence. She had to tell me "Let me finish." And I appreciate that learning moment. I'm grateful that she was assertive enough to tell me that.

"Seek first to understand" starts with letting someone else finishing their sentence and their thoughts.

Get set and go

Get set and go
Originally uploaded by allnode

When I grew up in Hong Kong many years ago, people typically would not have waited for the traffic signals to cross the street. HK people were impatient and did not behave then according to regulations. Well, they have changed now. They do wait for the green lights. Goes to show people can change.

Faith and Listening

According to John Maxwell and Jim Dornan a "person of influence" has faith in people and has the capacity to listen to them.

Here are some quotes about faith:

1. When you believe in people, the do the impossible.
2. Difficulties seldom defeat people, lack of faith in themselves usually does it.

In last LPG meeting, we shared perspectives on:

1. What is faith?
2. What does it have to do with trust?
3. What does it have to do with prior evidence?
4. Are you someone who grants trust first?
5. Or, do you expect that trust must be earned?

We also discuss the merits of the following techniques to become a believer in people:

1. Believe in them before they succeed.
2. Emphasize their strength.
3. List their past successes.
4. Instill confidendence when they fail.
5. Visualize their future success
6. Put them in a position to experience small successes

A person of Influence...listens to other people. We talked about the following:

1. No man would listen to you talk if he didn't know it was his turn next.
2. Be impressed and interested, not impressive and interesting.
3. The best way to impress someone is to let them impress you.

The slides we used to trigger our LPG conversations can be found here.

Motivate In Action

Motivate, according to Maxwell and Dornan, is the second level of the 4M of Model (Model, Motivate, Mentor, Multiply)in "Becoming a Person of Influence".

Last LPG meeting we had good discussions on the meaning of Nurture as an essential element to practice "Motivate".

A person of Influence nurtures other people. And when you nurture others, you give them: "Love, Respect, Sense of Security, Recognition and Encouragement.

Some memorable quotes:

Love: The length and breath of our influence on others are directly related to the depth of our concern for them.

Respect: While love focuses on giving to others, respect shows a willingness to receive from them. Respect acknowledges another person’s ability or potential to contribute.

Sense of Security
People feel secure with you when your actions and words are consistent and conform to a high moral code that includes respect

Encouragement
When a person feels encouraged, he/she can face the impossible and overcome incredible adversity.

Last Thursday, I witnessed Nurturing in action when Kiwanis Rochester helped Harriet Bishop Elementary School form their K-Kid Club.

The adults: Kiwanis members, Harriet Bishop teachers, and PTSA, along with area K-School (Century, JM, Mayo) high school mentors, gave the elementary school students support and encouragement to start their own service club so that the students can develop the passion, skill and commitment to be in service to others.

From Charter K-kids

The kids elected their officers. There were multiple candidates for each office and candidates gave speeches and answer questions from their fellow club members. They showed poised, commitment and ability to think and speak on their feet.

From Charter K-kids

I was inspired by their club charter night and glad to play a small part in it.

And that is Influence in action.

Next Monday, we will continue our journey to Becoming a Person of Influence.

Tips for a better life