Last LPG meeting, Ji-Yun took us through a deeper meaning of coaching. As I was listening, it occurred to me, many times in my life I thought I was coaching someone when in fact I was trying to convince them, or give them advice or impart my beliefs on them. That is really not coaching...that is really saying to them: "Take two of these pills and call me in the morning."

Though there are times you have to resort to shaking some senses into someone especially when they are about to get run over by a freight train, in general I too have found that any past coaching success I might have was when I was able to establish a trusting relationship. Trust is honesty, compassion, patience, support and empathy. But it is not sympathy or feeling sorry for the other person.

As a coach, if I can create a sense of "I am here with you"--which is support and empowering the other to find their own solutions--and not crossing the line to create the impression of "I am here for you" which forms an attachment to the other person's drama while lessening their responsibility and power to find their own solutions then I am probably in the right mental frame.

Next Friday Ji-Yun will guide us to do some coaching exercises. Let's see how well I can create that right state of mind.