As the saying goes: Practice makes perfect. Collaborative coaching, discussed and practiced in our last LPG meeting requires the coach to ask questions that are open, probing and non-judgmental and to be listening actively to what is being said and not said. It is a skill that requires practice to get good at.
The temptation and tendency is for the coach to jump in and cut short the exploration and suggests their opinion and become the "sage" and offers a "perfect solution". A solution that on paper may be perfect does not necessarily sing to the coachee because it did not come from their inner self. At best, it is another good idea that they might attempt to take up half-heatedly. At worse it causes them to react negatively: "Don't give me advice when I want you to listen to me."
As a facilitator for Diversity Council, I know the power of guiding a dialog and let the conversation flow and trust that the process itself will yield the insight. But knowing the value does not always mean I have the skill to do it. I was facilitating a Rochester neighborhood dialog last Tuesday, on a few occasions I found myself drifting from being a guide-on-the-side to a sage-on-the-stage to start voicing my own solutions. As soon as the words came out of my mouth I could sense that they had a stoppage effect on the group. They sucked the air out of the room. And it would take some effort to regain the conversation flow.
That's why we need more practices.
Next LPG meeting, Ji-Yun will take us through more exercises on how to ask the right questions, control our inner thoughts and pay attention to the other person.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
2 comments:
Comments from RH ......
Al,
Great comments on the LPG session on collaborative coaching. Tying it to the session as facilitator of Rochester neighborhood showing the lesson you learned on listening. You recognized the change from facilitator, coordinator to voicing your solution to see the effect on the group. You seem to have done the hard part with recognition so can think about the reaction. Much like the recognition of smoking, drinking as a problem is the hardest part for many individuals with those problems.
Our meeting was terrific. Facilitation flowed very well to lead the group with the questions. The part that I liked was when Marcia sensed someone in the group looking uncomfortable(twitching in seat, looking other way, etc.). The individual was held back to voice a disagreement. The group shared respect that it is good to disagree, raise concerns. The facilitator added that we want to focus on positive aspects of the topic. The dialogue flowed very nicely. Assigning note taker, facilitator and Host is definitely a good idea.
Rich, thanks for the comments and thanks for participating in the Rochester neighborhood dialog.
The comparison between dialog facilitator and collaborative coaching is not perfect but it does have a lot of core similiarity: Seek first to understand ... Talk less and listen more ... Ask the right questions ...
Post a Comment