Synchronicity --There are no accidents

It was one September Saturday late afternoon I found myself at Sam's Club. I really didn't really want to be there. After exercising at the RAC, I was tired and really wanted to go home. But knowing that we ran out of orange juice, I forced myself to be there for a quick trip. As I got close to the grocery aisle, I ran into a friend. She looked a bit harried and was pushing a shopping cart with her two young boys riding in it.

Running into someone you know shopping is not that amazing, but this is different. This was a close friend who happened to have accepted my invitation to my retirement open house party the previous Saturday but did not come.

"Why didn't you come to my party?" I asked her accusingly. Being a close friend, I knew I could kid her. And it was an open house, a no show was really not a big deal.

Her response surprised me, "Why aren't you at your party now?

As we looked at each other, we immediately understood what happened. She got the date wrong by one week. In fact, she and her kids, after shopping at Sam's, were on their way to my house.

We both realized too that if we had not run into each other at Sam's, she and her family would have shown up at my house. And her kids, all excited with the visit, would have been totally disappointed that after all the anticipation there really was no party.

But we were spared of that disappointment. So was it just luck? Or, is there a larger scheme at work that synchronizes human affairs? What do you think?

11/14 LPG Meeting Emotional Intelligence

I have previously blogged about synchronicity, which I truely believe is related to Covey's Habit 7: Synergize. Magic happens if you network, if you look for ways to help others and have the intention to create value.

As a result of my association with China Cultural Class in Rochester, I got to know Abbey at RCTC. Not only does she manage business eduction programs at RCTC, she also gives training of Emotional Intelligence.

Since LPG members have expressed an interest in discussing EQ, I invited her, and she graciously accepted, to lead us in the discussions of that topic.

You won't want to miss this learning opportunity. Here is a link to the meeting.

With a little bit of help

Last LPG meeting was summaried nicely by Rich. See this link: 

http://middlewaygroup.com/partners/leadership-practice-group-lpg/lpg-stress-management

Stress Management

One of the ways to manage stress is not to take things personally which means become detached from the situation.

Learn to stop you mind-chatters so they don't snow-ball. Learn to have a different perspective on things.

Last time, I took members through an Avatar exercise called This and That.

Instructions:
1. Pick a situation (a problem for example)
2. Think of the situation as this situation.
3. Think of the situation as that situation.

Repeat steps 2 and 3 several times.

Folks felt that just by doing that they got a sense of separation from the situation and less wallowed in the situation.

Today, I talked to one of the LPGers. He said that he tried the exercise out earlier in the week and felt a relief.

I am glad to hear that.

Even in my "retirement" from IBM, I sometimes feel stressed, primarily because I'm trying to start a web presence (which I hope will turn into a company). There are so many things I have to do and to learn. But using the This and That exercise does help me to stop my self-talks and have another perspective.

For this Friday's LPG, we will continue on Session 2 of Stress Management based on Don't Sweat the Small Stuff."

10/10 Meeting Agenda and Discussion Materials Stress Management

We had a wonderful meeting last Friday on Stress Management. Present were: Roger, Al, Jingli, Sandra, Eldon, Brent, Brian, Hoa, Jindong and Gilma:

I triggered the conversation with the following slide deck:

http://sites.google.com/site/leadershippracticegroup/Home/Phase-2-Plan/Crisis-management

As usual, the best way to run LPG was to ask questions.

It's my belief that if I do well to

"Don't sweat the small stuff .... " I will be less stressed.

And most folks would agree with that common sense approach. But,

What is the fine line between letting go and living in denial until little problems accumulate and become out of control, such as our current global financial crisis.

What is the difference between: Make peace with imperfections and procrastination.

We might all want to ponder over it a bit.

We will pick up our conversations next time at Slide 9: "Don't interrupt others or finish their sentences." This particular small stuff has the additonal benefit of not causing irritation and stress on someone else. Have you noticed that there are people whose mere presence brings steadiness and calmness while there are others who causes uneasiness and tension. This little trick may be the difference.

Also, there was agreement at the meeting that the small stuff book might be good for folks to obtain and for the group to drill deeper.

Stress Management

The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude -- William James

Stress management starts with not letting negative aspects of life blow out of proportions and cloud our outlook on life.

"We often rush around looking busy, trying to solve problems, but in reality, we are often compounding them. Because everything seems like such a big deal, we end up spending our life dealing with one drama after another, " writes Richard Carlson in Don't sweat the Small Stuff ... and it's all small stuff.

In this week's LPG, Al would engage you in talking about small stuff. What small stuff we face everyday? And how we tend to view them? And are there different approaches in dealing with them?

My own experience is that if I am successful in not letting small stuff grates me, I am less stressed.

Won't you bring you lunch bag, come to LPG and learn how not to let small stuff get on your nerves?

Habits

Here are some memorable quotes about habits:

Jack Canfield, The Power of Focus:

• Your habits will determine your future.
• Your habits will determine your quality of life.
• Successful people have successful habits.
• The results of your habits usually don't show up until much later in life.
• Developing successful habits takes time.

That's why we do LPG.