Habit 7: Sharpening the saw

Jingdong led the Session 1 of our discussion (his slides can be found here) and our practice of Habit 7: Sharpening the saw. Covey teaches that there are four dimensions to Sharpening the Saw:

1. Mental: reading, visualizing, planning, writing
2. Physical: exercise, nutrition, stress management
3. Social/emotional: service, empathy, synergy, intrinsic security
4. Spiritual: value clarification & commitment, study & meditation
   

Some viewpoints raised at the meeting:

1. It's hard to sustain an exercise program

• Some do this a bit better than others; some of us go to an athletic club, some have before but fallen out of the habit, some walk; some of us would go to the gym saying that "I would take it easy this time. Just to relax and go to to the hang out or do the sauna". and once there, would talk ourselves into doing more and end up doing exercises. One has to trick one's mind once in awhile.

2. Not easy to find time to improve skills. How about from time to time look at your calendar and see how much time was devoted to learning?

3. What is the spiritual dimension?

• Some follow a religious tradition; some do not or are agnostic.
• But there seem to be a common core that says we may be more mysterious, more meaningful, more majestic than simply our physical makeup of cells and matter. Regardless of what we call that, there is a sense we are deeper and more noble. Spiritual renewal connects us to that sense. Technique such as meditation, taking a walk in the nature, noticing and sensing we are one with nature and with other beings renews that connection. Humans at moments of stillness would recognize acts of kindness, generosity, forgiveness, and compassion as something higher than our own worldly concerns of individual survival. We have a conscience. Being aware that we have a conscience may just be a spiritual experience. Spiritual renewal lets one be connected to that sense oneness. More practice would enable one to be less judgmental, live with less regret, with more focus on the present moment.
• Practice small acts of kindness, open the door for someone, smile at someone, wait in line with more patience, appreciate everyone including those who appear to be rude and difficult, take time to rest your mind. let go, forgive someone ... doing these things may just be the exercise to be connected to our spirit.

Take a look at my 9/1/08 entry for what I thought might be an act of spiritual renewal.

New Members to 8/22 LPG Meeting

After so many times using the 006-2 conference room, it was refreshing to meet at the IBM lobby conference room. Thanks, Roger for setting it up. The room is a keeper.

It was my first time coming into IBM as a guest. The lobby receptionist has been acquainted with me for many years. Nonetheless, she smiled and I smiled as she insisted on seeing a picture ID from me to prove I was indeed the person my guest badge said I was before she would give the badge to me.

Who am I is a good question to ponder over (I think I will blog about this as part of the spiritual dimension of Sharpening the Saw).

At the meeting we welcomed back Ji-Yung. Also, we were really glad that Vardhini and Tracy attended LPG for the first time.

Vardhini, like Ji-Yung, came to know me and about LPG from our association with Rochester Diversity Council. We three have recently got "certified" to be facilitators for K-12 prejudice reduction workshop. There is obvious synergy between DC and LPG.

Tracy saw LPG on FaceBook and made the connection this is a good group to join. She used Facebook's "request to join" function to ask to be part of LPG.

Since I didn't quite remember Tracy but noticed that she and Brian were friends on Facebook, I asked Brian and our LPG advisory members to second the membership request. Even before Brian was able to email me how glad he was with Tracy joining, Sandra already sent me a reply saying that "what a small world" ... Tracy sits close to her at IBM and yes she will be a great addition. Brian's seconding email -- when it did arrive -- became a resounding second of Sandra's second. Indeed, Tracy, welcome to LPG.

I had to tell this story because it speaks to me about the synergy of connecting the dots. It confirms once again when we send good will to the world, it will come back.

It is a small world.

Sharpening the Saw References

Some references on Sharpening the saw:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2004/11/sharpen-the-saw/


Some quotes I like:

Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be and he will become as he and should be. Goethe

Service is the rent we pay for the privilege of living on this earth. -- N. Eldon Tanner

LPG Group on Facebook

I am learning more about how to manage group on Facebook. Here is link to LPG group. This is in keeping with the habit of Sharpening the Saw that we will be focusing on for the next two weeks, starting with next Friday's meeting. Social networking platform, like Facebook, is the de facto way for people to collaborate. In addition, applications developers are offering app's that add to the platform. Pretty cool!

Habit 7: Sharpening the saw

We can all relate to Covey's story about the man trying to saw down a tree with a dull saw. When asked why he doesn't take a break for a few minutes and sharpen the saw, he said, "I don't have time. I am too busy sawing!"

As I looked back in my years with IBM, there were periods of time I did well in taking time to learn new skills, keep up with technologies and renew my competencies. I am now glad for having done that though there were times it seemed in the busy corporate life even finding time to eat lunch was not easy.

I am glad that I became a Toastmaster and continually work on improving my communication skills. Along the way, I met new friends and became much more confident in making prepared speeches, running meetings, giving impromptu remarks. I also learn to better provide constructive feedback for fellow toastmasters and above all become more comfortable in accepting comments and evaluations from other people. That is say I have become more thick skinned.

For physical well being, I worked out at the gym almost every day for 1/2 hour or so. I have my wife to thank for that. There was a time when I was really a couch potato. I still remembered how tough it was when I first started this daily exercise regiment. I was huffing and puffing and wanted to quit.

For mental relaxation and spiritual growth, I learned to practice Avatar which has been described as western Zen. I have learned to be aware of my thoughts. I am getting better to direct my will and my attention (ie my mind) towards creating experiences that I want. In other words, I am better in doing Covey's habit 1 because I am better at using the gap between stimulus and response.

I also know that like any others habits, Sharpening the Saw is a constant renewal that I must consciously practice or risk falling off the wagon to indifference. This is especially true in my situation as a retiree.

Will I succumb to the easy and mindless life of channel surfing in search of the next Olympics event or will I rise up to the occasion to direct my will, my intention and my attention to grow, to learn and develop skills--to sharpen my saw. And what types of saw should I sharpen in my new act.

I am glad I have LPG to help me make the right choices.

8/8/08 LPG Meeting on Habit 6: Synergize

It was a special LPG meeting. For the first time, we held it outside IBM which was befitting the first day of my IBM retirement--a new beginning for me.

We socialized, had pizza for lunch, then Hoa read to the group the heart-felt email from Gilma. Her words and her voice all the way from Brazil touched all of us deeply. We felt her presence.

Thanks to both LPG Core and LPG Extended members who made it such a special occasion for me. Thanks for giving me the Re-think diary and the Blanchard book, Live What You Love. I am grateful for being part of this wonderful group of people.

My retiring from IBM offers synergistic opportunity to bring the spirit of LPG to a wider circle. (Welcome Ji-Yun to LPG. You might just be our link to Mayo Clinic). LPG started four years ago in a conversation with a couple of IBM Asian Networking Group (ANG) officers. There was a feeling that ANG needed to encourage and enable leadership development of its members. And somewhat in jest, I mentioned I would like to do something for ANG that could grow into a future network outside IBM. That was a synergistic vision, though none of us really thought of it that way at the time. We just had the intention to pursue self-improvement, to practice effective habits, to learn from and support each other, to be open to new ideas and see what might come out of that.

In the nearly four years with LPG, I know I have changed for the better: more positive, responsible, self-determined, patient, open, intuitive and more deliberate in choosing how I would feel, believe, act and serve others. The result: one of the most remarkable personal experiences in my life. I learned from others and others learned from me. Together, our circle of influence grew mutually. It's not a zero-sum game in which some becoming more powerful at the expense of someone else having less power. That is the synergistic effect.

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Some points brought up at the meeting about Synergy:

1. When family members are so busy with their own priorities, how can they synergize?

Well, maybe it's all right each do their own thing. Not everything has to be synergized.

Or, maybe purposefully sit down once in a while with the intention to talk about the "mission statement" of the family. Have the family together do Habit 2: Begin With The End in Mind.

But, what if we can't break out from our own positions of "I am right, you are wrong" and cannot come to a process for agreement.

Have some trusted someone to facilitate the conversation (a counselor, a trusted friend).

2. Since synergy requires trusting relationship, how can you develop synergy when there is no relationship?

Take a page from the Open Source community, (Linux eg) establish a trusted cluster of members. Each cluster trusts another cluster. So, the whole can become a trusting community. In other words, you don't have to know or have to develop trust for everyone in a community hundreds or thousands strong, start with a trusted circle.

Establish relationship by personally making an effort to make an overture, a call eg, with the person on the other side. Tell them directly you want to improve your relationship with that person.

3. Synergy is about the willingness and commitment to seek a third circle (alternative)--one that is bigger than the sum of its parts. It is a process that requires a willingness to get out of your own circle (your ego, your assumptions) and seek to understand the other circle. Have faith in the process that can appear to be chaotic at times. Give the person a hug (your child for example) once in while just to show you care.

4. How do you value differences?

Be curious. How can you be curious? Be interested. What if there are things or people I am really not interested in? Well, maybe, but be open anyway. Don't conclude right the way that a topic or a person is not your cup of tea right the way. Be open.

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As I start my own new beginning of retirement, there are a number of opportunities for LPG to take. I am excited there is a real opporunity to take LPG to outside the blue wall. And we welcome to our group, a guest from the Mayo Clinic community, Ji-Yun. We hope as LPG evolves, she can help us shape it in a way meaningful to a constituency broader than IBM without losing its original core value.

Next meeting we will do Habit 7:

Habit 7 is Sharpening the Saw. It's a habit of continual renewal in four dimensions: physical, mental, social/emotional and spiritual.

8/7/08 My Last Day at IBM

Yesterday was my last day as an active employee of IBM. It was also one of my most fulfilling and action packed days.

In the morning, I attended the second session of the Indian Cultural Class for IBM led by Savita, Parul and a couple of other IBMers who have lived in India. I got to connect more deeply to the common Asian core in which I grew up.

Mid-morning, the IBM Toastmasters Club had its first-ever outdoor meeting at the IBM park. Susan (our TM Sergent at Arms) reminded us to use our outdoor voice for more volume projection so everyone could better hear. And I did.

From the heart with very little prior practice, I gave a speech appropriately called "A New Beginning." I had a few rough edges and spoke for 20 minutes without notes. Essentially, what I wanted to say was that I am going to improve on how to lead my life. (I had been inspired by Prof Randy Pausch's last lecture at CMU. And the words he left behind: "It's not about how you achieve your dreams. It's about how you lead your life.")

Starting from learning to master the self, then feeling and knowing the oneness of all fellow beings, then performing small acts of kindness for others, then showing up and taking actions to value and honor racial, cultural, religious diversities within Rochester, then working on commercial projects that blend east/west traditions--I will embrace all that is good in us. And one deliberate step at a time, I intend to contribute to the creation of an enlightened planetary civilization.

At the end of the speech, my TM friends gave me a standing ovation. I was humbled and gratified. For a brief, wonderful moment, we were indeed one.

That is exactly the act of kindness and encouragement that I needed to start my next life chapter. Isn't it wonderful: The World Is A Reflection of Me.

In the evening, coincidentally, Bill called to invite Donna and me to his house. The idea of having us over came to him quite unplanned. His just felt into it. His brother-in-law from Australia is in town. Since we had met over 10 years ago, why not get together again.

I had to smile at the surprise invitation.

Bill didn't know until I told him at his house that along with giving me the pleasure of seeing his brother-in-law again, he was helping me celebrate my new beginning.

It was a day when all the dots were connected. That's what I call a synergistic day.