Why am I still an IBM Toastmaster now that I have retired from IBM?
The obvious answer is that I still want to improve my communication skills: whether it is to continue to develop the confidence and composure to be in front of an audience to MC an event, or to have a chance to practice giving speeches in subject matters (such as globalization, history or diversity) that I care about, or to learn to control my inner doubts and nervousness when asked to talk about something impromptu.
Retired or not, I still nurture a dream to become a motivational speaker--some day.
At my age, I don't know I am that serious about pursuing that dream. Along the way I came to know there is non-verbal communication that is deeper and arguably more inspiring than the technical aspects of speech making. The most basic attribute of communication is making connections with others. And just being present at a TM meeting--listening attentively and supporting the room--is an act of making connections.
Practice making connections is probably the not-so-obvious reason why I am an IBM Toastmaster.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Collaboration at Work
After Tuesday's US, China Town Hall Meeting, we received this nice message from National Committee thanking the Rochester community (RCTC, UMR, Mayo and citizen groups) on making it a special, memorable event:
Thanks for the article, report, and pictures. The kids look adorable! I’m amazed that the performance went on despite the vile weather! And 40 people is terrific considering the obstacles…
Hank was VERY impressed, especially by the interest evinced by the people with whom he spoke, and by the Mayo Clinic. He told me that he expected the fine medical facility; what surprised him was the humanity of the place, the obvious effort to treat people as people and not as interesting or challenging diseases.
It has been a pleasure working with you on CHINA Town Hall.
Note: PB article and photo's can be found on the Kiwanis West Web Site.
Thanks for the article, report, and pictures. The kids look adorable! I’m amazed that the performance went on despite the vile weather! And 40 people is terrific considering the obstacles…
Hank was VERY impressed, especially by the interest evinced by the people with whom he spoke, and by the Mayo Clinic. He told me that he expected the fine medical facility; what surprised him was the humanity of the place, the obvious effort to treat people as people and not as interesting or challenging diseases.
It has been a pleasure working with you on CHINA Town Hall.
Note: PB article and photo's can be found on the Kiwanis West Web Site.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Do you believe in miracles?
Do you believe in miracles?Another way to phrase the question is: "Do you consider yourself lucky?" That was the question Parul posted in a LPG meeting a couple of years ago. Several of us answered: "Yes."
And I remember saying: "I expect to be lucky."
I didn't know it at the time. I was in fact mouthing off the Golden Leadership Triangle: the foundational LPG principles of iteratively working on Habits, Competencies and Projects.
The most basic habit is: Be Proactive. One way to be proactive is to "Begin with an End" and look for positive signs of progress--not longing for these signs, but continuously develop competencies and do projects that would lead to progress. But don't be picky about what those positive signs have to look like because God (the universe) works in mysterious way.
Here is an example.
Last year just before my retirement from IBM, at a special Toastmaster meeting organized by Rich and run by Mike on leadership and collaboration, Mike posted this question to the team, "What is your life purpose? And how do you know if you are making progress?"
When it came to my turn to respond, I said: "I will know when I am making progress toward contributing to building a "flat world" when I find and work on some human potential development projects".
Somewhat in jest, I added: "And you will know that I am making progress if you see me on the Post Bulletin."
A year later, I open up the Post Bulletin last night and found that there is something there that talks about, no, not me directly, but the work I helped do.
You see I have been helping Diversity Council build a web-based fund-raising event, which we call Non Event.
I knew that we were going to roll it out in November but had no idea that PB was going to have front-page article on it.
As I do LPG, the lessons I learn repeatedly are: Begin with the End in Mind, step by step (First Things First), develop the skills, do the work and deliberately, proactively and optimistically look for signs of progress. These positive signs do not have be exactly what you thought they would be like but you will know them when you look for them.
Next LPG meeting, we will recap and discuss the power of Golden Leadership Triangle.
What about you? Do you believe in miracles?
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Dealing with Difficult People
How to deal with difficult people? Don't we wish we had the magic formula to do just that.
How many times have we said to ourselves, "We can do so much better, if only we didn't have to deal with so and so?"
Last LPG we listened to several folk stories about difficult people and we discussed what wisdom we each drew from these stories.
For myself, the wisdom came from the introspective questions raised during our discussions:
"In relationships, am I the difficult person?"
"Am I sometimes being too insistent?"
"Am I not the stubborn one?"
"Am I really being pro-active? Do I seek first to understand?"
Since the LPG meeting, I relearned the lesson of: "Be the change you want to see in the world."
Be a bit more patient, be a bit more open-minded, be a bit more optimistic, have a bit more faith that things will work out.
With that mental adjustment, things have turned out pretty well.
And it has been quite a couple of weeks with a number of delightful "wins"--the latest is an opportunity to work with RCTC to host a China-US Town Hall meeting in December that has potential national visibility.
Tomorrow's LPG meeting, we will continue with How To Deal with Difficult People. Given the results from our last meeting, I can only say ... "Bring it on."
How many times have we said to ourselves, "We can do so much better, if only we didn't have to deal with so and so?"
Last LPG we listened to several folk stories about difficult people and we discussed what wisdom we each drew from these stories.
For myself, the wisdom came from the introspective questions raised during our discussions:
"In relationships, am I the difficult person?"
"Am I sometimes being too insistent?"
"Am I not the stubborn one?"
"Am I really being pro-active? Do I seek first to understand?"
Since the LPG meeting, I relearned the lesson of: "Be the change you want to see in the world."
Be a bit more patient, be a bit more open-minded, be a bit more optimistic, have a bit more faith that things will work out.
With that mental adjustment, things have turned out pretty well.
And it has been quite a couple of weeks with a number of delightful "wins"--the latest is an opportunity to work with RCTC to host a China-US Town Hall meeting in December that has potential national visibility.
Tomorrow's LPG meeting, we will continue with How To Deal with Difficult People. Given the results from our last meeting, I can only say ... "Bring it on."
Thursday, September 10, 2009
How to deal with difficult poeple
Last LPG we talked about forgiveness, we focused on the idea that forgiving does not mean not holding the perpetrator or our tormentor accountable for their actions but to let go of the anger, the hurt and the continual cycle of revenge toward them.
Great leaders all have that ability. Two years after surviving near-fatal gunshot wounds, Pope John Paul II visited his would-be assassin, Mehmet Ali Ağca,
According to Wikipedia,
'the two spoke privately for 20 minutes.[5] John Paul II said, “What we talked about will have to remain a secret between him and me. I spoke to him as a brother whom I have pardoned and who has my complete trust.″
'
It would be up to our imagination what they did talk about. It does strike me that forgiving is more thoughts and actions then words. True forgiveness is purity and does not convey arrogance, pompousness or ego gratification. It's often private. But when it does occur, the world becomes a bit lighter.
Tomorrow's LPG we are going to work on something a bit more practical. We will discuss how to deal with difficult people. To me cultivating FACT (forgiveness, acceptance, compassion, and true purposes) in myself is probably a good starting point.
Great leaders all have that ability. Two years after surviving near-fatal gunshot wounds, Pope John Paul II visited his would-be assassin, Mehmet Ali Ağca,
According to Wikipedia,
'the two spoke privately for 20 minutes.[5] John Paul II said, “What we talked about will have to remain a secret between him and me. I spoke to him as a brother whom I have pardoned and who has my complete trust.″
'
It would be up to our imagination what they did talk about. It does strike me that forgiving is more thoughts and actions then words. True forgiveness is purity and does not convey arrogance, pompousness or ego gratification. It's often private. But when it does occur, the world becomes a bit lighter.
Tomorrow's LPG we are going to work on something a bit more practical. We will discuss how to deal with difficult people. To me cultivating FACT (forgiveness, acceptance, compassion, and true purposes) in myself is probably a good starting point.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Forgiveness Option
Last LPG we touched upon FACT (Forgiveness, Acceptance, Compassion, True Meaning and Purpose) as ways to attaining Principle-based interpretations.
And we made a pact as a group after the meeting to consciously perform some acts of forgiveness and acceptance. On reflection, I have not always taken advantage of all the opportunities that life had offered me the last two weeks to readily forgive and accept.
In particular, I have fallen short too often of the teachings from Harry Palmer's Forgiveness Option mini-course. He said,
"One realization that you may want to carry with you is that since you have the choice of whether or not to forgive, you also have the choice of whether or not to take offense. Not choosing to be offended is proactive forgiveness."
On too many occasions, I had been critical of people's actions, fallen victim to by my mind's conception of being slighted, overlooked, taken for granted or insulted.
But I also know I need to accept my imperfection and learn to forgive myself.
What about you? What have you learned? What do you think you will learn as we get back together tomorrow to recount our own experience of trying to accept and to forgive.
Ashok's slides on Breathing is available on this LPG page.
And we made a pact as a group after the meeting to consciously perform some acts of forgiveness and acceptance. On reflection, I have not always taken advantage of all the opportunities that life had offered me the last two weeks to readily forgive and accept.
In particular, I have fallen short too often of the teachings from Harry Palmer's Forgiveness Option mini-course. He said,
"One realization that you may want to carry with you is that since you have the choice of whether or not to forgive, you also have the choice of whether or not to take offense. Not choosing to be offended is proactive forgiveness."
On too many occasions, I had been critical of people's actions, fallen victim to by my mind's conception of being slighted, overlooked, taken for granted or insulted.
But I also know I need to accept my imperfection and learn to forgive myself.
What about you? What have you learned? What do you think you will learn as we get back together tomorrow to recount our own experience of trying to accept and to forgive.
Ashok's slides on Breathing is available on this LPG page.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Where does attention come from?
Do you control your mind? Or, does your mind control you? What is brain and what is mind?
Where does attention come from? Where does interpretation come from? What are 3Ps (prejudices, preferences, principles)? What are principle-based interpretations?
These were some of the questions we talked about last LPG.
We also did an Avatar exercise called "This and That" to let us experience what it's like to direct our attention.
After the exercise, we contemplated on "who/what" were doing the attention directing--Mind or Brain?
Or, could it be as Covey's Habit 1 says "Be Proactive ... We all have a free will". But then what is will? And where does will come from?
Chinese have a saying: "The finger pointing to the moon is not the moon." And I had an impression in our last LPG meeting there were one or two moments, we got pass the finger and felt the moon.
Next LPG meeting's agenda is still open. Let me know if anyone has a preference.
Where does attention come from? Where does interpretation come from? What are 3Ps (prejudices, preferences, principles)? What are principle-based interpretations?
These were some of the questions we talked about last LPG.
We also did an Avatar exercise called "This and That" to let us experience what it's like to direct our attention.
After the exercise, we contemplated on "who/what" were doing the attention directing--Mind or Brain?
Or, could it be as Covey's Habit 1 says "Be Proactive ... We all have a free will". But then what is will? And where does will come from?
Chinese have a saying: "The finger pointing to the moon is not the moon." And I had an impression in our last LPG meeting there were one or two moments, we got pass the finger and felt the moon.
Next LPG meeting's agenda is still open. Let me know if anyone has a preference.
Team Transformation
Ashok sent me this site about "Inventing, designing, developing, and delivering tools, processes and environments that facilitate individuals and organizations in their transition to a knowledge-based, design-focused world."
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Attention + Interpretation = Action
I was told and I believe the Dalai Lama, Mother Teresa and Pope John Paul all have one thing in common. They are present. Even in the midst of a large throng of admirers who want to touch them and talk to them, when they stop to talk to one individual, they have the ability to be present with that individual as if that person is the only person in the world. In other word, they have uncanny ability to pay attention and be focused.
By contrast, we all know people who are always fidgetty. They can't sit still. When they talk to you, they are easily distracted--they will look at the Black Berries, or constantly glancing around at every movement that lurks in their sight of vision. They may be physically next to you, you know they don't hear what your are saying to them. They are not present.
Last LPG meeting we did a number of exercises to let us experience what it feels like to direct one's attention., to train your mind to let go of thoughts, and to suspend judgment as you observe objects.
Next LPG meeting, we will continue with Dr. Sood's presentation. I am going to engage you to talk about things like:
1. Where does attention come from?
2. What does Sood mean by Attention + Interpretation = Action.
3. What is TPN?
4. Where do Interpretations come come?
5. What is FACT? And how does it neutralize emtional charges?
As always., LPG is about exploration and getting you to open up and talk about these things. There are no right or wrong answers. There is only participation.
See you there.
By contrast, we all know people who are always fidgetty. They can't sit still. When they talk to you, they are easily distracted--they will look at the Black Berries, or constantly glancing around at every movement that lurks in their sight of vision. They may be physically next to you, you know they don't hear what your are saying to them. They are not present.
Last LPG meeting we did a number of exercises to let us experience what it feels like to direct one's attention., to train your mind to let go of thoughts, and to suspend judgment as you observe objects.
Next LPG meeting, we will continue with Dr. Sood's presentation. I am going to engage you to talk about things like:
1. Where does attention come from?
2. What does Sood mean by Attention + Interpretation = Action.
3. What is TPN?
4. Where do Interpretations come come?
5. What is FACT? And how does it neutralize emtional charges?
As always., LPG is about exploration and getting you to open up and talk about these things. There are no right or wrong answers. There is only participation.
See you there.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Inside Out Leadership
How do we acquire joy, fulfillment, success? How do we mange stresses?
Covey's habit 1: Be Proactive clearly help.
But, how do I really become Proactive? How do I make me "see that the is glass half full" and not "half empty."
I know I should develop a good attitude. But every time, when I say to myself: "Be positive", my inner voice argues with me and tells me to be "realistic."
Is it nature or nurture? Is it our DNA? Our EQ? Our IQ? Our circumstances?
These are common human conditions. By default we let our monkey mind run us.
The good news is there are tools we can use to tame our mind.
Dr. Amit Sood knows that. His book Log On tells us how. The May 18, 2009 talk he and Dr. Ashok Patel gave at IBM lay out the possibilities, the lessons and the practice.
This Friday, I am going to lead a discussion on my take on Sood's "Log On" idea. And I will also guide you to do a few Avatar(R) exercises that will let you experience mindfulness.
When you feel it, you will know it.
Covey's habit 1: Be Proactive clearly help.
But, how do I really become Proactive? How do I make me "see that the is glass half full" and not "half empty."
I know I should develop a good attitude. But every time, when I say to myself: "Be positive", my inner voice argues with me and tells me to be "realistic."
Is it nature or nurture? Is it our DNA? Our EQ? Our IQ? Our circumstances?
These are common human conditions. By default we let our monkey mind run us.
The good news is there are tools we can use to tame our mind.
Dr. Amit Sood knows that. His book Log On tells us how. The May 18, 2009 talk he and Dr. Ashok Patel gave at IBM lay out the possibilities, the lessons and the practice.
This Friday, I am going to lead a discussion on my take on Sood's "Log On" idea. And I will also guide you to do a few Avatar(R) exercises that will let you experience mindfulness.
When you feel it, you will know it.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Neutrality, Walter Cronkite and Apollo 11
Forty years ago today on a warm summer day, lounging around at UCSD from where I had just graduated, along with several other engineering students, we were glued to the TV screen watching live the lunar landing of Apollo 11. The broadcaster was CBS's Walter Cronkite, my favorite TV anchor.
Cronkite died a couple of days ago. Many of the significant events of my formative years in the United States--such as the passing of MLK and RFK, Apollo 11 lunar landing, Nixon impeachment--I witnessed through his reporting lenses. In his news reporting era, Uncle Walter was rightfully called the most trusted man in America.
He got that distinction because we sensed that he maintained integrity by reporting the news simply, honestly and with neutrality. He never imposed upon his viewers his own opinions. He just told the story...that's the way it is.
We like that because we know we have enough of our own values and beliefs (some we deliberately chose for ourselves and others we probably adopted somewhat unknowingly) to deal with already. We don't need one more source of indoctrination from a TV anchor.
But how much do we really know what we value and what we believe?
Last LPG meeting, we did a number of exercises based on CTI to assess and explore that question. The result sometimes was surprising. A number of us reported that there were gaps between what we thought we were from how we really lived our lives. We didn't always live up to what we valued.
But that's the power of self-examination and inward exploration. Used properly, it gave us the insight to change our thoughts and change our lives.
The following are tools that we used to assess who and where we are.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Wisdom Calls
Wisdom often times appears when one least expects it to. Sorting out my over crowded coffee table in my man's cage, I found this retirement best wishes card from Jim and Kathryn last year. Many of the advices on that card ring wisdom:
- Relax and Enjoy yourself
- Try something new
- Imagine the possibilities
- Remember to play
- Expect adventures
- Make new plans
- Embrace the freedom
- Nap without guilt
- Take time just for you
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Practice Makes Perfect
As the saying goes: Practice makes perfect. Collaborative coaching, discussed and practiced in our last LPG meeting requires the coach to ask questions that are open, probing and non-judgmental and to be listening actively to what is being said and not said. It is a skill that requires practice to get good at.
The temptation and tendency is for the coach to jump in and cut short the exploration and suggests their opinion and become the "sage" and offers a "perfect solution". A solution that on paper may be perfect does not necessarily sing to the coachee because it did not come from their inner self. At best, it is another good idea that they might attempt to take up half-heatedly. At worse it causes them to react negatively: "Don't give me advice when I want you to listen to me."
As a facilitator for Diversity Council, I know the power of guiding a dialog and let the conversation flow and trust that the process itself will yield the insight. But knowing the value does not always mean I have the skill to do it. I was facilitating a Rochester neighborhood dialog last Tuesday, on a few occasions I found myself drifting from being a guide-on-the-side to a sage-on-the-stage to start voicing my own solutions. As soon as the words came out of my mouth I could sense that they had a stoppage effect on the group. They sucked the air out of the room. And it would take some effort to regain the conversation flow.
That's why we need more practices.
Next LPG meeting, Ji-Yun will take us through more exercises on how to ask the right questions, control our inner thoughts and pay attention to the other person.
The temptation and tendency is for the coach to jump in and cut short the exploration and suggests their opinion and become the "sage" and offers a "perfect solution". A solution that on paper may be perfect does not necessarily sing to the coachee because it did not come from their inner self. At best, it is another good idea that they might attempt to take up half-heatedly. At worse it causes them to react negatively: "Don't give me advice when I want you to listen to me."
As a facilitator for Diversity Council, I know the power of guiding a dialog and let the conversation flow and trust that the process itself will yield the insight. But knowing the value does not always mean I have the skill to do it. I was facilitating a Rochester neighborhood dialog last Tuesday, on a few occasions I found myself drifting from being a guide-on-the-side to a sage-on-the-stage to start voicing my own solutions. As soon as the words came out of my mouth I could sense that they had a stoppage effect on the group. They sucked the air out of the room. And it would take some effort to regain the conversation flow.
That's why we need more practices.
Next LPG meeting, Ji-Yun will take us through more exercises on how to ask the right questions, control our inner thoughts and pay attention to the other person.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Last LPG meeting, Ji-Yun took us through a deeper meaning of coaching. As I was listening, it occurred to me, many times in my life I thought I was coaching someone when in fact I was trying to convince them, or give them advice or impart my beliefs on them. That is really not coaching...that is really saying to them: "Take two of these pills and call me in the morning."
Though there are times you have to resort to shaking some senses into someone especially when they are about to get run over by a freight train, in general I too have found that any past coaching success I might have was when I was able to establish a trusting relationship. Trust is honesty, compassion, patience, support and empathy. But it is not sympathy or feeling sorry for the other person.
As a coach, if I can create a sense of "I am here with you"--which is support and empowering the other to find their own solutions--and not crossing the line to create the impression of "I am here for you" which forms an attachment to the other person's drama while lessening their responsibility and power to find their own solutions then I am probably in the right mental frame.
Next Friday Ji-Yun will guide us to do some coaching exercises. Let's see how well I can create that right state of mind.
Though there are times you have to resort to shaking some senses into someone especially when they are about to get run over by a freight train, in general I too have found that any past coaching success I might have was when I was able to establish a trusting relationship. Trust is honesty, compassion, patience, support and empathy. But it is not sympathy or feeling sorry for the other person.
As a coach, if I can create a sense of "I am here with you"--which is support and empowering the other to find their own solutions--and not crossing the line to create the impression of "I am here for you" which forms an attachment to the other person's drama while lessening their responsibility and power to find their own solutions then I am probably in the right mental frame.
Next Friday Ji-Yun will guide us to do some coaching exercises. Let's see how well I can create that right state of mind.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
What have I learned on Thursday?
Ashok asked me what value-add I got from Thursday's Integrative Healing talk. If I have to name one thing, I would have to say I learned the 21st century's terminology to describe awakening.
Amit (tongue-in cheek, perhaps) calls it Logon. It's an apt metaphor in the computer age. After all, if one does not logon (or login) to a computer, one only has pens and paper to do math or write a note.
An unawakened (untrained) mind is a "monkey mind" that is busy with figuring, worrying, calculating, seldom at peace and certainly unoptimized. It is vague about creativity, joy, happiness, determination. It is unaware of the power that the quiet mind knows. What then is the power? It's the power to create.
Just think...the lecture was created by an intention--an intention of being connected to a cause and purpose that is higher than self. I got to know Ashok because we both served on the board of Diversity Council. We had the intention to help build an inclusive world. Similarly, ANG/LPG came into being and persist for more or less the same reason--an intention to share. From that intention, with no specific plan, friendship circles formed and grew and joined to form bigger circles. It's the old saying: one thing leads to another. With a trained mind, you can direct your attention to find the connections you want. Result, in this case, we got to logon to the same program, the same lesson, the same space on a lovely Thursday afternoon, people from all parts of the world got to enjoy the the same time/space continuum of the universe.
Coincidentally Amit the keynote speaker and Parul the IBMer in conversations after the talk found out that they both came from the same city in India and shared a common bond of a university there. In their hometown neighborhood, they had not known each other, but wonderfully and magically thousands of miles away on a lovely afternoon in an austere auditorium at a computer company, logged on, their paths finally crossed.
The way I look at it what I witnessed was a creation of the "Trained Mind"--an intentional, universal consciousness--a synchronicity. So, beyond the word lesson (ancient and modern wisdom) that Ashok and Amit shared with us on the scientific and medical benefit of breathing and meditation to good health was a world lesson--an experiential lesson, which says whatever you pay attention to the most, you will find. Seek and you shall find ... that is the ultimate value-add.
Amit (tongue-in cheek, perhaps) calls it Logon. It's an apt metaphor in the computer age. After all, if one does not logon (or login) to a computer, one only has pens and paper to do math or write a note.
An unawakened (untrained) mind is a "monkey mind" that is busy with figuring, worrying, calculating, seldom at peace and certainly unoptimized. It is vague about creativity, joy, happiness, determination. It is unaware of the power that the quiet mind knows. What then is the power? It's the power to create.
Just think...the lecture was created by an intention--an intention of being connected to a cause and purpose that is higher than self. I got to know Ashok because we both served on the board of Diversity Council. We had the intention to help build an inclusive world. Similarly, ANG/LPG came into being and persist for more or less the same reason--an intention to share. From that intention, with no specific plan, friendship circles formed and grew and joined to form bigger circles. It's the old saying: one thing leads to another. With a trained mind, you can direct your attention to find the connections you want. Result, in this case, we got to logon to the same program, the same lesson, the same space on a lovely Thursday afternoon, people from all parts of the world got to enjoy the the same time/space continuum of the universe.
Coincidentally Amit the keynote speaker and Parul the IBMer in conversations after the talk found out that they both came from the same city in India and shared a common bond of a university there. In their hometown neighborhood, they had not known each other, but wonderfully and magically thousands of miles away on a lovely afternoon in an austere auditorium at a computer company, logged on, their paths finally crossed.
The way I look at it what I witnessed was a creation of the "Trained Mind"--an intentional, universal consciousness--a synchronicity. So, beyond the word lesson (ancient and modern wisdom) that Ashok and Amit shared with us on the scientific and medical benefit of breathing and meditation to good health was a world lesson--an experiential lesson, which says whatever you pay attention to the most, you will find. Seek and you shall find ... that is the ultimate value-add.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Finding your strengths
Watching CPAN Washington Journal this morning, which featured two high school teachers talking about the High School U. S. Government Exam and its importance to students getting into colleges, brought back memories of my first encounter with understanding the US government.
It was my freshman year in college as a foreign student from Hong Kong. For some reason, I was taking a US Government course. Since Hong Kong was a British Colony then (and would remain so until 7/1/1997), I had no personal experience of local, state and federal governments, no idea of the executive, legislative and judicial branches of government. Everything was strangely new and exciting about that US government course. I had to study very hard and I got an A on the course. My American classmates who had personal advantages were surprised how natural I came to know the subject.
In fact, history, government and literature were my best subjects in my first year of college. I still love them today.
I have often wondered how my life would turn out if I had pursued what was naturally easy and appealing to me instead of choosing "safe", left-brain oriented majors in computer/information science and electrical engineering.
Would I have been happier, more successful? Luckily, it's still not too late to ponder this kind of questions now that I am retired from IBM with most of my mental, physical faculties still working well enough.
In May, LPG will focus on the idea of finding and focusing on one's strengths.
It was my freshman year in college as a foreign student from Hong Kong. For some reason, I was taking a US Government course. Since Hong Kong was a British Colony then (and would remain so until 7/1/1997), I had no personal experience of local, state and federal governments, no idea of the executive, legislative and judicial branches of government. Everything was strangely new and exciting about that US government course. I had to study very hard and I got an A on the course. My American classmates who had personal advantages were surprised how natural I came to know the subject.
In fact, history, government and literature were my best subjects in my first year of college. I still love them today.
I have often wondered how my life would turn out if I had pursued what was naturally easy and appealing to me instead of choosing "safe", left-brain oriented majors in computer/information science and electrical engineering.
Would I have been happier, more successful? Luckily, it's still not too late to ponder this kind of questions now that I am retired from IBM with most of my mental, physical faculties still working well enough.
In May, LPG will focus on the idea of finding and focusing on one's strengths.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
When I wrote about Susan Boyle's amazing singing performance, I knew I was influenced by Covey's "Eighth Habit--find your own voice and help others find theirs."
Here is a link to a recent webcast featuring Covey discussing building a proactive 7 habits culture through leadership in a down economy. Much of the talk weaved around the 8th Habit.
Here is a link to a recent webcast featuring Covey discussing building a proactive 7 habits culture through leadership in a down economy. Much of the talk weaved around the 8th Habit.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Finding one's voice
Millions have seen on YouTube Susan Boyle's inspirational performance in "Britains Got Talent, 2009." What is it about her performance that moves so many people?
The cynic and skeptic in me would raise doubts that we have been setup and been manipulated to have low expectations before she sang. Wasn't her performance just too good to be real?
She just couldn't be an amateur. Her voice was just too stunning, hitting the high notes perfectly right from the start. She was just too confident and comfortable. Her performance was just completely at odds with her otherwise homely appearance that would speak more of someone not belonging to the glamor and the glitz of the performing stage.
It raised in me a red flag ... "Naw, this can't be true. The TV people have set this up to lure me to buy into the performance...to raise the ratings"
That's the trouble of the thinking mind. Its little suspicious instinct caused me to judge, to look around and took me away from the Now. It robbed me to simply enjoy and appreciate the magical.
In our last Enneagram session we have talked about what is the right mix of trust vs suspicion; when to go with your gut, when with your heart and when with your head. We did not come to a clear answer--which was just as well.
But my sense is that however she had been preparing herself and living her life, Susan Boyle found the right answer in that moment she performed on the show. We witnessed it and were inspired.
The cynic and skeptic in me would raise doubts that we have been setup and been manipulated to have low expectations before she sang. Wasn't her performance just too good to be real?
She just couldn't be an amateur. Her voice was just too stunning, hitting the high notes perfectly right from the start. She was just too confident and comfortable. Her performance was just completely at odds with her otherwise homely appearance that would speak more of someone not belonging to the glamor and the glitz of the performing stage.
It raised in me a red flag ... "Naw, this can't be true. The TV people have set this up to lure me to buy into the performance...to raise the ratings"
That's the trouble of the thinking mind. Its little suspicious instinct caused me to judge, to look around and took me away from the Now. It robbed me to simply enjoy and appreciate the magical.
In our last Enneagram session we have talked about what is the right mix of trust vs suspicion; when to go with your gut, when with your heart and when with your head. We did not come to a clear answer--which was just as well.
But my sense is that however she had been preparing herself and living her life, Susan Boyle found the right answer in that moment she performed on the show. We witnessed it and were inspired.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Toastmasters Table Theme Today
The theme for today's IBM Toastmaster meeting is "How busy are you?" The theme--picked by Mark who took over the Toastmaster MC role when the original member got tied up by something else--has a poignant meaning because at the economic downturn, folks just seem to have so much to do and can't find time for non-essential activities. That reminds me of Covey's Habit 2 and Habit 3.
Habit 2 says Begin with the End In Mind. Habit 3 says Put first things first.
Questions are:
1. What is your End? Where do you want to go? What is really important to you? What is your personal mission? If you were to die tomorrow, what would your tombstone read?
2. Based on your End, what are some of the important but not urgent things you got to find the time to do, that you need to put some priority on?
3. What are some of the really urgent but not important activities that are consuming your time?
4. What are some of the unimportant/un-urgent things you do and that are taking up your spare time?
Come to think of it, the most important and not urgent thing for most of to do is probably to spend some time finding out what our mission statement should be and that will determine what essential really means to us.
Habit 2 says Begin with the End In Mind. Habit 3 says Put first things first.
Questions are:
1. What is your End? Where do you want to go? What is really important to you? What is your personal mission? If you were to die tomorrow, what would your tombstone read?
2. Based on your End, what are some of the important but not urgent things you got to find the time to do, that you need to put some priority on?
3. What are some of the really urgent but not important activities that are consuming your time?
4. What are some of the unimportant/un-urgent things you do and that are taking up your spare time?
Come to think of it, the most important and not urgent thing for most of to do is probably to spend some time finding out what our mission statement should be and that will determine what essential really means to us.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Self-examination and Self-mastery
Self-examination requires honesty. Taking the enneagram test by myself on myself is one thing. But, am I answering truthfully is another. Also how do I decipher the results?
How about coming to next LPG meeting, to help me or anyone else to analyze our results?
And bring your results too and let's compare notes.
How about coming to next LPG meeting, to help me or anyone else to analyze our results?
And bring your results too and let's compare notes.
Uncertain Times Leadership
Got these leadership gems from Ashok:
We live in turbulent times and leaders are not always prepared to lead from a point of uncertainty. So what can leaders do.
PodCast with Marshall Goldsmith
We live in turbulent times and leaders are not always prepared to lead from a point of uncertainty. So what can leaders do.
PodCast with Marshall Goldsmith
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Stretch yourself at the office
Tip from Mayo Clinic how you can stretch yourself - the easy way
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/stretching/WL00030
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Self-mastery
The Chinese philosopher, Lau Tzu (6th Century BC), says this about Self-Mastery:
Those who know others are intelligent; those who know themselves have insight,
Those who know others are intelligent; those who know themselves have insight,
Those who master others have force; those who master themselves have strength.
Mastering yourself means you know you are in Chicago and not Boston; and you are ready to chart and travel your course to get to your destination, your New York.
And what does your New York look like?
Well, according to Enneagram if you are a predominant 7, for example, your destination is to become a focused inspirer; someone who has the ability to present a viewpoint that something that seems impossible can actually be done. You use your natural strengths: your enthusiasm, quick mind, upbeat friendliness, inquisitive imagination to help others find their voice.
If you are a 7, you would practice to listen fully to others, to go inward and to develop your emotional repertoire.
At our LPG meeting last Friday, we were inspired already by the one among us who has stepped up to take the Type 7 journey.
What about the rest of us? Are we ready to get to our New York?
Mastering yourself means you know you are in Chicago and not Boston; and you are ready to chart and travel your course to get to your destination, your New York.
And what does your New York look like?
Well, according to Enneagram if you are a predominant 7, for example, your destination is to become a focused inspirer; someone who has the ability to present a viewpoint that something that seems impossible can actually be done. You use your natural strengths: your enthusiasm, quick mind, upbeat friendliness, inquisitive imagination to help others find their voice.
If you are a 7, you would practice to listen fully to others, to go inward and to develop your emotional repertoire.
At our LPG meeting last Friday, we were inspired already by the one among us who has stepped up to take the Type 7 journey.
What about the rest of us? Are we ready to get to our New York?
Friday, March 20, 2009
Enneagram and Knowing where you are
There is one thing in common about LPG members: they are all into self-improvement.
Harry Palmer, author of the Avatar (R) materials says, "You can't get to New York from Boston when you are in Chicago." Knowing where you are--your starting point--is key to getting to where you want to go.
On the surface, the statement seems common sense enough. After all, that's how we use Google map every time we want to get directions to where we are going; we all start with "where am I"?
Carrying it out, on the other hand, is not as straight-forward as most of us want to admit. Determining where you are requires a high degree of integrity and self-honesty that left to our own devices few of us actually have.
The enneagram technique (discussed in LPG march sessions) is a powerful way to assess where you are. It's made more powerful when you use it with the support from someone you trust.
Harry Palmer, author of the Avatar (R) materials says, "You can't get to New York from Boston when you are in Chicago." Knowing where you are--your starting point--is key to getting to where you want to go.
On the surface, the statement seems common sense enough. After all, that's how we use Google map every time we want to get directions to where we are going; we all start with "where am I"?
Carrying it out, on the other hand, is not as straight-forward as most of us want to admit. Determining where you are requires a high degree of integrity and self-honesty that left to our own devices few of us actually have.
The enneagram technique (discussed in LPG march sessions) is a powerful way to assess where you are. It's made more powerful when you use it with the support from someone you trust.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Inteview with God
Sunday night my wife and I got back to Rochester from two weeks of "vacation for the mind" in Orlando, Florida reviewing the Avatar Wizard Course.
Our plane from Chicago to Rochester arrived late by four hours. It was well past mid-night that we found ourselves at the eerily deserted airport.
I even joked with Ray (the only visible airport staff left) who was in charge of airport ground transportation, "Does the airport allow people sleep overnight?"
Ray was friendly and warm. We struck up a conversation and found that he was from Hawaii and just retired as a non-commissioned office from the army reserve and now worked part time at the airport. Though his shift was supposed to be from 3PM to 9pm, he felt compelled to stay behind to make sure that every last passenger got ground transportation. That's called dedication.
As we talked it dawned on him that we lived very close together--at north west Rochester. He offered to give us a ride home instead of waiting with little assurance when the next cab would actually show up.
So, we called to cancel the non-coming cab and got a ride from Ray. On the ride, we got to know a bit more about each other and had a wonderful conversation.
That's the aloha spirit.
And that along with the link to the "Interview with God" that Teresa sent reminded me that the universe's grace and good nature are everywhere. Our job is to simply be open to them.
Our plane from Chicago to Rochester arrived late by four hours. It was well past mid-night that we found ourselves at the eerily deserted airport.
I even joked with Ray (the only visible airport staff left) who was in charge of airport ground transportation, "Does the airport allow people sleep overnight?"
Ray was friendly and warm. We struck up a conversation and found that he was from Hawaii and just retired as a non-commissioned office from the army reserve and now worked part time at the airport. Though his shift was supposed to be from 3PM to 9pm, he felt compelled to stay behind to make sure that every last passenger got ground transportation. That's called dedication.
As we talked it dawned on him that we lived very close together--at north west Rochester. He offered to give us a ride home instead of waiting with little assurance when the next cab would actually show up.
So, we called to cancel the non-coming cab and got a ride from Ray. On the ride, we got to know a bit more about each other and had a wonderful conversation.
That's the aloha spirit.
And that along with the link to the "Interview with God" that Teresa sent reminded me that the universe's grace and good nature are everywhere. Our job is to simply be open to them.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
In basket
Believe it or not, when I first joined IBM, every other cubicle dweller seemed to have one of those desk baskets that consisted of an in, a pending and an out shelf. The pending shelf was usually the middle shelf, while the in and the out shelf could be either the top or the bottom depending on the person's taste. The lack of standards necessitated labeling of them In or Out.
And if you had achieved enough of a rank (like becoming a manager or level l 59 which is band 9 for you youngsters) the department assistant would come to your office to feed your in basket and take care of filing stuff from your out basket.
Eldon's talk last LPG brought back this timeless technique of managing activities and to-do's, which goes to show that good ideas never die they just get recycled.
I am a believer of recycling good ideas. Often times wisdom comes when you take another look at a situation or some piece information with a different perspective--from another angle. It might surprise some that not every one is equally endowed with this ability to widen the scope to take another look. There are people who are so convinced that they got it right the first time they will fight you and argue with you and convince you that there is only one way and it's their way.
Since last week I have been in Orlando for a couple of weeks to practice taking another look at things. I am attending the Avatar Wizard course for the fifth time.
I won't be at LPG this Friday. Eldon will conduct session 2 of the life hacking discussions.
And if you had achieved enough of a rank (like becoming a manager or level l 59 which is band 9 for you youngsters) the department assistant would come to your office to feed your in basket and take care of filing stuff from your out basket.
Eldon's talk last LPG brought back this timeless technique of managing activities and to-do's, which goes to show that good ideas never die they just get recycled.
I am a believer of recycling good ideas. Often times wisdom comes when you take another look at a situation or some piece information with a different perspective--from another angle. It might surprise some that not every one is equally endowed with this ability to widen the scope to take another look. There are people who are so convinced that they got it right the first time they will fight you and argue with you and convince you that there is only one way and it's their way.
Since last week I have been in Orlando for a couple of weeks to practice taking another look at things. I am attending the Avatar Wizard course for the fifth time.
I won't be at LPG this Friday. Eldon will conduct session 2 of the life hacking discussions.
Monday, February 2, 2009
How do I feel?
LPG is about member participation. It's also about self-discovery and self-examination with gentle and non-judgmental support from the community. When each of us do it and honestly express our feelings, our actions also encourage others to open up.
Last Friday's LPG meeting about "feelings" is a great example of such an honesty. Members all took the chance to reveal a bit about themselves and how they get in touch with their feelings.
I believe that being able to feel and being aware that we are not our feelings but are the awareness that can watch and observe our feelings and emotions we are beginning to get in touch of our true nature. When we practice to notice and experience the gap between stimulus and response and learn how to accept the moment (emotions or circumstances) as it is, we are in fact improving our Emotional Intelligence.
And whenever two or more of us gather in a deep and accepting way to connect, to support, and to encourage each other, we have what Buddhists call it a sangha and Christians call it a communion. It's a precious moment.
How do I feel? How did I feel? What are the two poles of feelings to every situation? Those were the questions we asked at our last LPG meeting.
Thank you Hoa for leading the last two LPG sessions. We have the next two slots open. All you got to do is raise your hand.
Last Friday's LPG meeting about "feelings" is a great example of such an honesty. Members all took the chance to reveal a bit about themselves and how they get in touch with their feelings.
I believe that being able to feel and being aware that we are not our feelings but are the awareness that can watch and observe our feelings and emotions we are beginning to get in touch of our true nature. When we practice to notice and experience the gap between stimulus and response and learn how to accept the moment (emotions or circumstances) as it is, we are in fact improving our Emotional Intelligence.
And whenever two or more of us gather in a deep and accepting way to connect, to support, and to encourage each other, we have what Buddhists call it a sangha and Christians call it a communion. It's a precious moment.
How do I feel? How did I feel? What are the two poles of feelings to every situation? Those were the questions we asked at our last LPG meeting.
Thank you Hoa for leading the last two LPG sessions. We have the next two slots open. All you got to do is raise your hand.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Free 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Audio Book
Eldon sent me this link to a free audio book for 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Check it out.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Emotional Intelligence Session 3
The questions we asked at the meeting seemed to be:
Am I self-aware? Am I able to manage how I respond to my emotions? Am I able to feel how other people are feeling?
How do I not go overboard and turn self-awareness (which is being aware that my feelings and thoughts could impact my own actions and other people's well-being) into self-consciousness (which is overly introverted, shy, timid and withdrawn).
There is a fine line? Is there not?
Is awareness management same as always thinking ahead and think before you leap? Am I becoming a Thinking Machine? What happens to spontaneity? to authenticity?
These are questions that I myself constantly try to balance.
Of course there are two things that I believe in:
First, I have a free will. It's up to be to learn to control it, to strengthen it, to use it. I decide. And that means I can decide when to be deliberative and when to be intuitive. Second, finding the balance of when to do which is a trial and error act, a dance between this and that.
The more deliberate and conscious I am that I have a choice in the process, the better I get at it. Though I might not have been favored by nature to have high EQ, through nurturing and my own deliberate practicing I can become someone who adjusts intuitively to what is required--whether the occasion requires spontaneous gaiety or solemn respectfulness.
And doing the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People may just be one of the ways to improve EQ.
Also, welcome first time LPG attendees John and Yang to LPG.
More info and materials on the session can be found => LPG event notice.
Future LPG events can be found here ==> LPG info hosted on Middle Way Group site.
Am I self-aware? Am I able to manage how I respond to my emotions? Am I able to feel how other people are feeling?
How do I not go overboard and turn self-awareness (which is being aware that my feelings and thoughts could impact my own actions and other people's well-being) into self-consciousness (which is overly introverted, shy, timid and withdrawn).
There is a fine line? Is there not?
Is awareness management same as always thinking ahead and think before you leap? Am I becoming a Thinking Machine? What happens to spontaneity? to authenticity?
These are questions that I myself constantly try to balance.
Of course there are two things that I believe in:
First, I have a free will. It's up to be to learn to control it, to strengthen it, to use it. I decide. And that means I can decide when to be deliberative and when to be intuitive. Second, finding the balance of when to do which is a trial and error act, a dance between this and that.
The more deliberate and conscious I am that I have a choice in the process, the better I get at it. Though I might not have been favored by nature to have high EQ, through nurturing and my own deliberate practicing I can become someone who adjusts intuitively to what is required--whether the occasion requires spontaneous gaiety or solemn respectfulness.
And doing the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People may just be one of the ways to improve EQ.
Also, welcome first time LPG attendees John and Yang to LPG.
More info and materials on the session can be found => LPG event notice.
Future LPG events can be found here ==> LPG info hosted on Middle Way Group site.
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