8/8/08 LPG Meeting on Habit 6: Synergize

It was a special LPG meeting. For the first time, we held it outside IBM which was befitting the first day of my IBM retirement--a new beginning for me.

We socialized, had pizza for lunch, then Hoa read to the group the heart-felt email from Gilma. Her words and her voice all the way from Brazil touched all of us deeply. We felt her presence.

Thanks to both LPG Core and LPG Extended members who made it such a special occasion for me. Thanks for giving me the Re-think diary and the Blanchard book, Live What You Love. I am grateful for being part of this wonderful group of people.

My retiring from IBM offers synergistic opportunity to bring the spirit of LPG to a wider circle. (Welcome Ji-Yun to LPG. You might just be our link to Mayo Clinic). LPG started four years ago in a conversation with a couple of IBM Asian Networking Group (ANG) officers. There was a feeling that ANG needed to encourage and enable leadership development of its members. And somewhat in jest, I mentioned I would like to do something for ANG that could grow into a future network outside IBM. That was a synergistic vision, though none of us really thought of it that way at the time. We just had the intention to pursue self-improvement, to practice effective habits, to learn from and support each other, to be open to new ideas and see what might come out of that.

In the nearly four years with LPG, I know I have changed for the better: more positive, responsible, self-determined, patient, open, intuitive and more deliberate in choosing how I would feel, believe, act and serve others. The result: one of the most remarkable personal experiences in my life. I learned from others and others learned from me. Together, our circle of influence grew mutually. It's not a zero-sum game in which some becoming more powerful at the expense of someone else having less power. That is the synergistic effect.

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Some points brought up at the meeting about Synergy:

1. When family members are so busy with their own priorities, how can they synergize?

Well, maybe it's all right each do their own thing. Not everything has to be synergized.

Or, maybe purposefully sit down once in a while with the intention to talk about the "mission statement" of the family. Have the family together do Habit 2: Begin With The End in Mind.

But, what if we can't break out from our own positions of "I am right, you are wrong" and cannot come to a process for agreement.

Have some trusted someone to facilitate the conversation (a counselor, a trusted friend).

2. Since synergy requires trusting relationship, how can you develop synergy when there is no relationship?

Take a page from the Open Source community, (Linux eg) establish a trusted cluster of members. Each cluster trusts another cluster. So, the whole can become a trusting community. In other words, you don't have to know or have to develop trust for everyone in a community hundreds or thousands strong, start with a trusted circle.

Establish relationship by personally making an effort to make an overture, a call eg, with the person on the other side. Tell them directly you want to improve your relationship with that person.

3. Synergy is about the willingness and commitment to seek a third circle (alternative)--one that is bigger than the sum of its parts. It is a process that requires a willingness to get out of your own circle (your ego, your assumptions) and seek to understand the other circle. Have faith in the process that can appear to be chaotic at times. Give the person a hug (your child for example) once in while just to show you care.

4. How do you value differences?

Be curious. How can you be curious? Be interested. What if there are things or people I am really not interested in? Well, maybe, but be open anyway. Don't conclude right the way that a topic or a person is not your cup of tea right the way. Be open.

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As I start my own new beginning of retirement, there are a number of opportunities for LPG to take. I am excited there is a real opporunity to take LPG to outside the blue wall. And we welcome to our group, a guest from the Mayo Clinic community, Ji-Yun. We hope as LPG evolves, she can help us shape it in a way meaningful to a constituency broader than IBM without losing its original core value.

Next meeting we will do Habit 7:

Habit 7 is Sharpening the Saw. It's a habit of continual renewal in four dimensions: physical, mental, social/emotional and spiritual.